Mass. guys find burried treasure

DAMN, is this not a boyhood fantasy come true? (I don't mean that one from 5th grade about finding that hidden stash of Playboys either.)

This is like the Goonies without the pirates, a map, or a pro-NFL player dressed up like a retarded guy!

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/04/27/treasure.found.ap/index.html

Cappadocia, Turkey

Last year my cousin, an ex-patriot of several years who left NYC for the shores of Bali, bought a house in a small Turkish village. The village is in the Cappadocia region of Turkey, known mostly for its unique landscapes and a population which dates back to the pre-biblical days.

My cousin and her friend have been renovating the house, but these are the first pictures I've seen. Although they aren't nearly done yet, I'm already excited to visit, just by looking at these pictures. The house is built into the side of a scraggy hill (with a "chimney" formation at the peak) and it has a cool interior arch.

From what I hear, there is a very small English-speaking population in this village and the locals are pretty laid back for the most part (except during Ramadan when the local guys working on the house were crabby due to a month of fasting, no smoking, and no sex.)



SWEET VIEW!

Check out this hotel in the Cappadocia region. AWESOME .

Say "Hello" to Grandpa

This is Grandpa Fred. Some of you may recognize the snarky old bastage from a certain 80's movie.

For those of you that don't, well, the gauntlet is thrown. Start searching IMDB . (HINT: start with John Hughes, you uncultured troglodyte!)

Anyway, Grandpa Fred will be visiting on days like today when I just don't have time to update, or have anything worthwhile to impart. Occassionally, he may even get ahold of the keyboard and post an entry himself.

He's a wily old jokester, afterall.

And for god's sake remember to wait half an hour to use the bathroom after him because it will be "totally polluted"!

Custom toys

This guy can do some pretty impressive stuff with a bunch of old Barbies.
http://r4bid.net/freaky/Mythical.html

Return of the Daily Spam

After musing a little while on the ridiculous nature of yesterday's spam e-mail, I decided to send a preposterous reply to the address it supposedly came from.

Here's what I wrote, which played on a miniscule detail from his original e-mail:

-----Original Message-----
From: XXXXXX, XXX
Sent: Thursday, April 21, 2005 9:37 AM
To: 'Mr_Kelly_Cole'
Subject: RE: Fulfill My Last Wish Please!!

hey I have an aunt in Bulgaria! What hospital are ya at?

To my surprise I received this reply a few hours later:

-----Original Message-----From: Mr Kelly Cole [mailto:kelly_cole102@yahoo.com]Sent: Thursday, April 21, 2005 1:02 PM
To: XXXXXX, XXX
Subject: Your Willingness
Dear XXXXXX,

Thanks for your mail.

I will want you to confirm to me your Willingness to assist me in this Great project of Fulfilling My Last Wish.

Thanks,
Mr Kelly.

What's up with all the random capitalization? Anyone have a suggestion what my response should be? I have a feeling I can have some fun with "Mr. Kelly."

Besides, what's he doing all day other than scamming witless morons?

The Daily Spam

Does anyone else ever get spam e-mails like this at work, or is it just me?
(Click on the pictures to read the e-mail in its full, amusing glory)


All the e-mails contain pretty much the same story:
"Hi, I'm So-and-So from a foreign country with a name like Burundi or Bulgaria" that most people couldn't find on a map if their pathetic lives depended on it...

Then they usually claim to be either the assistant of some politico of that country or a dying individual. In either case, they have millions of dollars they "need" you to help launder by holding onto the money for them and usually depositing it somewhere else (sometimes a "charity"), for which they so graciously offer to give you some commission.

And naturally, it’s always “top secret” and “highly confidential”.

Oh, PLEASE may I assist you? Come on, does this type of thing actually work? Besides the e-mails making NO logical sense whatsoever, what they are requesting is MONEY LAUNDERING. I know because I work for a bank and everyone has to take a mandatory "anti-money laundering" course.

You’d have to be a real assclown to fall for something like this, but I guess people wouldn’t still be attempting scams like these if they weren’t working on at least a few people. For more info, I urge you to read what Snopes has to say about the whole thing, too.

"New" movie looks awesome

The trailer for this flick, Night Watch, makes me want to see the movie RIGHT NOW. I've read that it's based on a trilogy of books by a Russian author and that this film, based on the first book, was released in Russia several years ago. (Supposedly, it was not only the most expensive movie to date made by Ruskies, but the highest grossing picture there, too.)

http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox_searchlight/night_watch/

I got some basic info via Google search, but am dying to know more about the series since it's apparently never been translated into English for a US publishing.

Anyone have any information on it?

Update from the Pope:

"I'm in Heaven and you're not! Nyah nyah nyah!"

The Disney Report Pt II

So, the only truly comparable parks between DL and WDW are their respective Magic Kingdoms. Let’s get to it:

The Castle- For the most part, both Magic Kingdoms contain the same rides and a very similar park layout. But many people may not realize that the castle at the very center of each park is different. Sleeping Beauty’s castle adorns the Anaheim park, while Cinderella Castle (yes, “officially” there’s no ‘s at the end of “Cinderella”), which incorporates a bit of architecture from Paris’s Notre Dame Cathedral sits in the middle of WDW’s Magic Kingdom. Besides the Cinderella Castle being somewhat more slender and taller than it’s California counterpart, it also houses a restaurant with character dining for the kids, where as the castle in DL is the central entrance to Fantasyland, but mostly just for looks.

The Rides- DL is the only Disney park in the world which has the Matterhorn ride, which resides in the large replica of the famous peak which straddles the live between Fantasyland and Tomorrowland, only a short walk from Space Mountain.
- Aside from that monumental difference, the next most astounding difference comes in the parks’ incorporation of Indiana Jones. In the late-90’s Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye ride opened up in DL. Pioneering new theme ride technology, this smash success had lines over two hours long for most of the first few seasons after it opened. THIS IS THE MOST KICKASS THEME PARK RIDE I HAVE EVER RIDDEN. Even the cue you stand in while waiting for the ride is interactive and creatively designed to keep guests from getting bored. The ride itself is spectacular and set to classic Indiana Joes music right of the movies. Sadly, WDW has no such ride for Indiana Jones (although they used the same technology to build a severely disappoint ride based on their recent film “Dinosaur.”) Instead, the MGM park in WDW has an Indiana Jones stunt show.
I cannot stress this enough: IF YOU ARE GOING TO THE MAGIC KINGDOM FOR ENTERTAINMENT AND RIDE PURPOSES, STOP READING HERE AND JUST BOOK YOUR TRAVEL TO SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. This ride rules EVERY other ride Disney has to offer in both California AND Florida.
But I digress…
- New Orleans Square. DL has one, WDW doesn’t. Why should you care? Two reasons: The Blue Bayou and The Haunted Mansion. Since DL was Walt original incarnation of the ultimate theme park home of his animated empire, there are a few well-hidden and little-known secrets to Disneyland that WDW never had. Among others is Club 33, which I’ll get to in a minute. But when you go to DL, make sure to call Guest Relations several weeks in advance (several months, if you can) to reserve a table at The Blue Bayou, the restaurant that is INSIDE the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Sure the prices are premium, but the ambience is excellent and the Disney professionals have a way of making you feel a little extra important because, well, you have reservations there and other people don’t. This is the only place inside the park where reservations are required to dine and to my recollection the only one that guests are treated to full-wait service.
- For an even MORE exclusive meal at DL, join Club 33 (or better yet, find someone who already has membership privileges since membership is $20,000.) Snopes also has more on it here .
- Since WDW has no New Orleans Square area, the Haunted Mansion in WDW is located at the dead end of the “Colonial Square” area, a bland recreation of something supposed to be colonial America, but proves mostly unremarkable. The Haunted Mansion in WDW has a brown-brick gothic-Victorian look instead of the southern plantation style of the DL Haunted Mansion. The ride inside is basically the same, but the external ambience isn’t.
- Disneyland is home to the Mark Twain steamboat and the Columbia sailing ship, a replica of a 19th century schooner sailing around its enclosed lagoon. WDW has just the Mark Twain.
- Fantasyland is smaller in WDW and consists of several small rides built into extensions of the castle (Peter Pan and Snow White), Dumbo, “it’s a Small World”, and the Mad Hatter’s Tea cups. DL, whose Tea Cup ride has a huge tree with multi-colored lanterns hanging from it above instead of a bland carrousel-like covering, also has the Alice in Wonderland ride, the Storybook Land boat ride, the Matterhorn, Casey Jr.s Train ride, Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, and Pinocchio’s ride.
- The remains of the submarine lagoon from the old 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea ride still adorn the northern edge of Tomorrowland. WDW has no such remnants. (Although insider DL sources indicate this space is being converted into a Finding Nemo ride to open in 2006 or 2007.)
- In DL “it’s a Small World” is housed in its own separate building.
- WDW’s Tiki Room is still the “renewed” version which now included Iago and the bird from the Lion King leading the tropical parrots in embarrassingly bad renditions of popular songs. Although DL’s Enchanted Tiki Room was closed for almost a year, it re-opened in March 2005 completely refurbished and returned to the look and sound it had when it opening in 1963.
- Mickey’s Toon Town is bigger and appears to offer a thing or two extra for kids to do, as well as an extra retail shop or two.
What does DWD have that DL doesn’t?
- The Country Bears Jamboree has been replaced by the Winnie the Pooh ride in DL, while WDW boasts both the Country Bears and the new Pooh ride (although the Pooh ride is somewhat inferior to its California cousin.)
- Adventureland in WDW has a Middle Eastern bazaar strip where they’ve included a ride just like Dumbo, but with the Magic Carpet from Aladdin instead.
- Also in the WDW Adventureland is the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse, which has been scoured and converted to “Tarzan’s” Treehouse in DL.
- Stitch’s Great Escape. It ain’t so great. Guests strap into a chair and watch an animatronic Stitch create havoc, which they experience through the wonder of “feel-around”. DL isn’t missing anything by not having this. It would take two tentpole rides (one on par with Space Mountain or Splash Mountain) at WDW to make up for their lack of the kickass Indiana Jones ride that DL has!
- WDW has the Hall of Presidents, DL doesn’t. While I actually like this attraction, kids generally find it boring as do a number of adults, so I’m not sure anyone is missing it in DL.

Overall, it’s the Intangibles that really make DL a winner over it’s Orlando counterpart. Although the DL is ultimately confined by the city of Anaheim, it gives the park character that WDW seems to lack. Take the old tree by the Tea Cups for example. Or the way the lands of DL twist and turn so that Frontierland, New Orleans Square and Critter Country fit together seamlessly and without a stark contrast from one section to the next. IN WDW, it seemed like the Imagineers knew they had a lot more space to play with, so they focused more on anticipating larger crowds and designed broader sidewalks (which means less greenery) and paid less attention to adding the special architectural touches and hidden Mickeys to each ride or shop.
When DL first opened in 1955, it looked almost nothing like the park guests see today. Except for the a few minor rides and the iconic Cinderella Castle, almost every original ride and attraction has been replaced or significantly upgraded (like the Disneyland Railroad). Everytime an old ride is replaced with a new ride, Imagineers incorporate part of the old attraction in to the new one. For example, when Splash Mountain was built in Disneyland, the old mountain with the snoring Grizzly Bear was torn down. Imagineers secretly hid the snoring grizzly Bear sound within the new ride. Uncover more Disney secrets here:
http://www.hiddenmickeys.org/HiddenMickey.html

Overall, the ambience of Walt’s original park makes DisneyLand the superior park. If you want to spend 5+ days engrossed in various Disney parks, then head down to Orlando. But for anyone seeking the Magic Kingdom experience, DisneyLand is the park you need to hit.

Thanks for sticking around this long. Leave me a comment and tell me if this was at all interesting, helpful, or just a stupid waste of time!

Best Simpsons music page. EVER.

I'll get back to the Disney comparison tomorrow when I finally finish my write up.

Instead I bring you the joy of engrossing in every Simpsons song, jingle, orchestration, or melody sung by a character to ever grace the small screen. Yes, this page appears to have it ALL. "Max Power," "Canyonero", "Mr. Plow". You name it. They have it.

http://www.simpsoncrazy.com/downloads/music.shtml

The Disney Report Pt I

While in Orlando, my girlfriend and I spent sometime roving two of Disney World's parks, Animal Kingdom and the Magic Kingdom. Although I sometimes eschew the way The Rat insists on exacting control of everything they involve themselves in, not to mention the way Disney typically likes to whitewash these things, I have to hand it to them when it comes to Animal Kingdom. Living only a short distance from Disneyland and recently being at that park, however, has made me realize just how SUPERIOR DisneyLAND is to DisneyWORLD .

Yep, you read it right. Despite all the stupid promotion the Orlando Magic Kingdom gets, it's older brother in Anaheim still kicks its ass! And I'll tell you why. But first there’s an important clarification to get out of the way. People commonly refer to Disneyland and Disneyworld as “essentially the same thing”, only one is in California and the other is in Florida. It’s a common misconception and without going to both parks, I suppose one hat’s easy to make. Which is why it’s important to point out that Walt Disney World is more than just the Magic Kingdom (the park which has the famous storybook castle and classic Disney rides such as Space Mountain, Dumbo the Flying Elephant, Splash Mountain, etc.) In fact, WDW is comprised of SIX parks, all of which require separate admission, plus Pleasure Island (part of Downtown Disney) and Disney’s Wide World of Sports Complex, which also require purchase of separate admission.

Disneyland is just the Magic Kingdom. Several years ago, Disney Imagineers constructed Disney’s California Adventure across the street from Disneyland. California Adventure is a separate theme park from Disneyland. So, it could be said that Disney has only two park attractions in Anaheim, Ca, while Walt Disney World in Orlando consists of six (or four if WDW’s two water parks are left out since DL doesn’t offer any comparable type of park.)

For anyone planning a Disney-themed vacation it sounds like a no-brainer to make Orlando your destination of choice, right? Well, that’s why its important to research anything before you commit. Let’s cut directly to the tangible differences between DL and WDW, shall we?

DL/CA:
2 Theme Parks
3 Resorts
Downtown Disney

WDW:
4 Theme Parks
2 Water Parks
23 Resorts
Downtown Disney (including Pleasure Island and Disney Quest)
Wide World of Sports Complex

Still looks like you get a lot more entertainment options in Florida, right? It can’t be denied that there’s far more to keep guests of the Mouse staying and spending in Orlando, but the savvy vacationer has to look inward and decide what it is they want most from their Disney experience. And more importantly how much are you willing to spend to get it. Consider that the base price of admission to any of the four major WDW parks (Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, MGM Studios, and Epcot) start at $60/pp. And the base ticket permits admission to only ONE park PER DAY. If you want the ability to jump between parks, that’ll be an extra one-time charge of $35. But if you want that to include the water parks, the Pleasure Island night clubs, and the indoor interactive theme park Disney Quest, please add $45 (called “Magic Plus”) to that $60 base ticket, which brings you to a grand total of $105!

Disney calls this new pricing structure “Magic Your Way” and ingeniously encourages guests to hop from place to place whenever and wherever they want to during their stay. But for a family of four who wants to spend a day at each park (which can be pushing it to get everything in for most people), be prepared to spend $846 for two adults and 2 kids (ages 3-9) just for park admission.

The trick with WDW is to purchase tickets for more than one day. Even buying just the 4-day base ticket will reduce your per day cost to $46. The water parks cost $34 each per day, so this would enable a guest to allot one day for all four major parks as well as a day at one water park for less than buying four days at the “Magic Plus” price.

Disneyland base admission is comparable at $53 ($43 for ages 3-9). Adding the park-hopping option is only $20 more, but unless you plan on splitting your day between two large theme parks, I advise taking the two-day hopper pass for $105, which saves you a big old single BUCK. Still, the two-day hopper pass at WDW weighs in at $154 for an adult. Yes, most Disneyphiles claim that California Adventure doesn’t pack the punch of prolonged excitement that WDW’s Animal Kingdom or Epcot and MGM might, but one really has to decide whether they’re looking for more rides (CA) or interesting and Disneyfied educational locales (Epcot and MGM).

Tune in tomorrow for part II where I compare the WDW Magic Kingdom to the DL Magic Kingdom and show you why DISNEYLAND OWNS Walt Disney World.

My response to all the 80's nostalgia we're inundated with these days:

Satan's Yam visits the Southeast US

First things first: Apologies to anyone who waited with baited breath for a new post on April 7....and was still waiting. I didn't even come back from vacation until the 8th, so I'm not sure what I was thinking when I posted that. Maybe it was a subconscious April Fool's?

So, my trip to Atlanta and Orlando were pretty good. My cousin married some guy named "Alan" from Valdosta, Georgia (which he and his frat brothers affectionately refer to as "AL-dosta". Did I mention they've been out of college for over ten years?

It's not that he's a redneck, in fact he's quite the JAP (Jewish-American Prince). And being a JAPm he also seems incurably arrogant. Outside observers such as myself and my girlfriend immediately understood "Alan" suffers from "big fish in a small pond" syndrome. Nevertheless, I wish my cousin the best in her marriage and alot of fun future keggers. Fortunately for her, they will be living in Atlanta.

Welcome to Valdosta, GA!

I'll have more on my trip in a later post. But before I go, I MUST post this link:
http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/cat_steve_dont_eat_it.php

This guy has had some interesting run-ins with the underbelly of the supermarket. Nastiness makes for excellent entertainment!

Vacation

Well avid readers, I'm gone on vacation all next week, so there won't be any updates until April 7.

Dry your tears. The Internet is a big place. I'm sure you can find other sites to keep you amused in the meantime.

Adios!

Dan Rather's blog

In honor of April Fool's I give you Dan Rather's "Rather Raw":
http://www.teevee.org/archive/2005/04/01/rather/


Make sure you check out The Erotic Diary of George Wendt, too:
http://www.teevee.org/archive/2005/04/01/norm/

QUOTE CONTEST

Add yours in the Comments!

1) What a nasty fetish, Mr. Buchanan. Nasty.
2) I hope they used Wishbone Light on his tubby ass.
3) The literal demonstration of "Is that your face, or did your neck just throw up?"
4) "I never realized it tasted THIS salty."
5) "Anybody got a crouton?"
6) Messes like this only give us more more reason to support use of feeding tubes.
7) "But God told me 'everything would be fine in Kalamazoo!' "

Ms. Wheelchair Wisconsin stripped! ....of title.

CNN does everyone a complete disservice by providing no photograph for this story. What I really want to know is what happens at the end of the pageant where the normally bipedal pageant winner walks across the stage with flowers in one arm and waiving with the other -how does the Wheelchair winner do it? Waive with her feet?
PICTURES PEOPLE!!
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/04/01/ms.wheelchair.ap/index.html