"Breaking News" and a poem

This is "news"? Haven’t we all known this since at least 10 months ago? Or 2-3 years ago?

And now some impromptu poetry:

Julianna Macklestien,
Sitting in an apple tree,
Always talking down to me,
‘bout everything that she can see,
I hate that stupid bitch.

Macklestien ('mack-uhl-steen')